oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
