he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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