he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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