dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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