He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
