the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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