I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
