but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
