I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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