help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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