I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
