U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
