I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
