it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
