Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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