I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
