Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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