"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The air taste purple.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
