YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
