Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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