id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
