He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
