Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
