Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
