Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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