Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
