Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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