A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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