Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
