so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
