I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
