I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
