North Korea, Best Korea!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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