Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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