Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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