Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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