I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
