There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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