the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
