We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
