I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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