Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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