at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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