two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
