I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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