So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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