just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
