This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
