Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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