just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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