Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
