After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
