roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
