He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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