I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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