i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
